Something With a Twisted Name
by Late Night Child
Summary: He was a broken beauty, a tainted dame. So perfect, yet so wrong. And without a second thought he sent his fist into his refection, shattering his beauty, shattering his sin. Graphic Rape. Drake Abuse. Finished!
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: RAPE! I feel that should be specified now, I mean it's not graphic (just implied)…well not yet, it may later, I'm not sure. Anyways I was watching Drake&Josh and I just played this whole story out in my head and just decided to type it out for some reason. If things are spelled wrong deal, it's like 2:00am right now. Some things may be wrong, like names, but besides that I think I got the characters right. Anyways enjoy and REVIEW and I may continue, I'll think about it, if you give me some ideas. XSmiles in a singsong voiceX I killed all my authers notes and got there names right and andI found out how to spell the evil word (if you were here before you would know)

Thanks for all the reviews. Love to Silent December, Love your story, and thank you Elayna Fournierfor the advice, there was no offence at all. Thanks to everyone else who reviewed too.

Disclaimer: I don't own Drake and Josh; if I did it would be called "Josh" because Drake would be my sex slave.

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Something With a Twisted Name

(Never the same after)

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It was the night; at least, that was what it was called everyday after that. It was called the night the day after, the week after, the month after, years and years after. That night, that faithful night, that twisted horrid night filled with a scream no one heard or cared to acknowledge. In the bitter cold of that night he was broken…

Josh huffed loudly as he made his way down for breakfast. This wasn't such an unusual thing; the unusual thing was the lack of a cranky guitarist puttering in after him.

"I can't believe he stayed out All Night." Shouted Josh, opening the kitchen door.

"Me neither, just wait till that boy gets home…" Josh felt a shiver run up his spine at his mother's threat, however justified it was.

There mother, after much begging on Drakes part had agreed to allow the boy to go to a party that night, a school night at that only after promising to be home before 12, and while Josh knew Drake wasn't that smartest boy, this was beyond him, at the very least Drake could have called.

Audreylet out another aggravated sigh, the fifth one this morning if you had been counting. "When you see Drake at school tell him to eat his last meal." She declared as she handed the boy his lunch for school.

Little did they know, little did anyone know that at this very second a boy was making his way to school too, and while most kids make they way to school their thought are along the lines of, _'damn, I didn't do my homework,' 'I never finished that report.' 'Mrs. Matthews test is going to kill me,_' this boy was thinking none of those things. The only thing going through his head was one word, a name, '_Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh'_

He tripped and stumbled every few steps, as if the act of walking was killing him. His arms were wrapped around himself tightly, clinging almost, he wasn't wearing shoes, his body was shaking, although you couldn't tell. His lip was bleeding, as were his knuckles and other places you couldn't see. He looked broken, he was broken. Not the _'got beat up'_ broken, not the _'broke up with my girlfriend'_ broken, no, it was the real broken, the broken you can never heal from, the broken that kills you on the inside and never stops waking you up at night in a cold sweat. When you got broken like this, you never heal, you die this way.

As he made his way down the deserted hallway of his school, soon would the world witness just how broken the soul of this poor boy was.

Josh was in his 4th period class of the day racked with both worry and annoyance, he had yet to see Drake all day, and the seat he was suppose to have right next to him was empty. Even if Miss. Noris's (A/N the teacher that hateshim)class was hell for him, and he tended to skip it you'd think he'd come to see Josh and ask about their mom and dad.

Little did he know that at the very moment, with the sudden opening of the classroom door that Josh's worrying would exceed tenfold.

The broken boy from the street looked on into the classroom with a shocking amount of fear in his eyes.

'_Need Josh, Josh make better need make better need Josh'_, his fingers twisting around the wooden frame of the door, shaking_. 'Hurts. Hurts so bad.'_

"Drake?" Josh was out of his seat before he could really register what was happening. All he knew was at this moment his brother was standing in the doorway looking like a deer in headlights. "Drake what's-"

Before the baffled boy could get the question out of his mouth his arms were full of a shaking Drake, his fingers taking to Josh's shirt as they had for that door, clinging desperately.

"Make it better…it hurts so much…please…" Josh could hardly understand a word Drake said, he at the moment couldn't understand a thing about Drake, all he knew to do was wrap his arms around the shaking boy, the tremors of which were getting worst by the second.

What was wrong with his brother, why was he acting this way? All the scratches and bruises, there's was no way he could have missed the purple and green marked that marred the boy, all the color seemed to gather around the boys wrists.

"Drake?" The green eyed boy had no idea what to do. He looked to Miss. Noris, and was surprised to see that she had her arms wrapped around herself.

You see, she knew, looking at Drake she knew, and even worst, she remembered- _'it was late, her parents would be so mad at her for staying out so late. She hurried along until she heard a voice stopping her in her tracks, "Well aren't you pretty"'_- she shook her head, looking onto the boy in Josh's arms who looked about ready to shatter into tears, to fall into the arms of safety.

'_No' _she thought,_ 'I can't, if the whole school knows there's no telling what may happen, I need to get him out of here'. _She didn't want to yell at him, she didn't, but it was the only way.

This would hurt him, she knew it.

"Finally." She spoke loudly and with as much braver as she could muster, "I was just waiting for when you'd finally get what was coming to you."

She winced at the sound of her own voice, Drake looked onto her with fear, unmarketable fear, pulling himself closer into Josh, as if if he tried hard enough he could crawl into him, and as much as it broke her heart to do this, she knew she had to. She reached out and took one of Drake's wrists, almost crying out at the burses that disfigured them, pulling him away from his anchor and to the door. Drake reached for Josh again, but Miss. Noris held tight, pulling him.

"Fighting in school, well that's clause for suspension." She made sure everyone in the class heard her before she closed the door, she didn't, no, couldn't even look at him as she literally dragged him into the nurses office, once that door too was closed she let the boy go, with no way of ever getting the boy back, as much as she wanted to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay, she was the enemy to him, she was pain.

Drake moved as far always from the women, his unrecognizable eyes dogging about the room. It was wrong, _'no NO not safe not safe Josh Josh Josh help not safe want safe hurts hurts make it stop Josh Josh.'_

"JOSH!" Drake screamed at the top of his lungs, that is if you can that wretched sound that came out of his throat a scream. No, no scream wasn't that right word for it, it deserver a twisted name, something that Bible uses, something you hear in the forest in the black of the night, it was as if he had swallowed all the pain of the world and was vomiting it all back up, it was that sort of noise.

Miss. Noris put a hand over her mouth and felt tears fall down her face at the sight of the boy on the floor that had crawled into the corner, his heels digging and pushing into the floor, propelling himself as far back into the wall as he could get, his fingernails scraping against the tiles desperately. Shaking his head from side to side in jerking movements, mouth still open, screaming.

Luckily Josh, if want to call it that, in all his confuse had followed them, it was obvious that Drake had been in more than just a fight, and let his anger at Miss. Noris disappear as he ran to his brothers side.

Drakes eyes dilated as they found Josh next to him again, this time there was no measure to the grip Drake set on Josh's shirt, '_wouldn't let go again, never ever again Josh safe, safe now…safe now?'_

Drake looked up at the boy, eyes filled with unspilled tears and uncertainty. "Safe now?"

Josh's heart broke. "Yes, yes your safe now, I'm here Drake, you're okay now, I promise," he contused to whisper sweet nothings to the boy until it was drowned out by the boys sobs, throat ripping body jerking sobs.

"It's okay, shhhhh." He rocked back and forth one the floor.

But it wasn't, it was far from okay, and it would never be okay, not ever, it would be wrong, always and forever, but what would you say? That's just what you say when you know it's not going to be okay, never was there a lie quite as big as this that ever passed Josh's lips, ever.

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REVIEWS FOR ME PLEASE. God…is this sad or what? Xwipes tear awayX.


	2. Chapter 2

I hope you like my story so far, it's really sad I know. At this point I'm really hoping the moms name is right…I think it is…Anyways, thanks for all the reviews and I hope you like my updated version more than my first one. And I am sorry Drake is all OOC, but it can't be helped really, so sorry if this bugs the hell out of you Xhopes she fixed all the names in this chapterX. Much love, enjoy my story.

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The Dirt on His Hands

(Never be clean again)

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"What do you mean Miss. Noris? What's wrong with my son!"

Audry screamed at the women. She had just been told that the teachers' assumption for her sons' lack of calling and coming home the night before was because she thought he had been hurt, not any kind of hurt, the worst hurt there is.

"Please, I don't, I don't understand, what happened?"Walter asked. Wrong, he knew, he understood, he just didn't like it, he wanted to be wrong, he wanted what she said to be wrong, but from what she'd said, about Drake finding Josh…and the nurses…and that currently Drake was in the nurses refusing to let go of Josh, sobbing and begging not to be left.

Miss. Noris sighed, she didn't want to do this, she wanted to go home and curl up in her bed and cry. Not doing this. "Please, I know this is hard but you should be glad that Drake came to Josh, most times they hate being touched, you should be thankful he came to Josh."

It sounded so stupid, she knew, _"be thankful' please, what in the hell did they have to be thankful for? Hearing that there's a good chance there son was raped and screams louder when anyone comes near him and will never ever be the same…'_

Adrian wiped the tears from her face. "Please, can we see him?"

Miss. Noris nodded. "Yes, but…but don't expect him to be happy to see you, just…do what he asks for now." And with that, she left to finish her last class.

The two parents cleaned their faces as they made there way to see their sons, wracked with worry. Upon opening the door the tears returned to both their faces at the sight.

Both Josh and Drake were sitting on a nurses bed together, Josh had his arms around the boy and was leaning against the wall with Drake, never looking so small in his entire life than now, wrapped up in a blanket, was curled in his arms.

Drake's eyes widened as to door opened, and in a parent-breaking, mother-sobbing, father-letting-tears-fall-freely act, screamed in fear, covering himself with the blanket. Hiding from his own mother and father in fear.

Josh, slowly becoming and registering all of Drakes actions to certain situations, knowing as of yet he was the only one that could touch him, and it would be up to him to try and fix him, began rubbing his back in soft motions, slowly the boys in his arms screams of panic subsided, but he still refused to come from his blanket cocoon.

"Drake?" Audry begged, "Drake please, it's me, mom, Audry, please Drake…"

Much to Josh's surprise, Drake pulled the blanket from his head, looking at his own mother with fear, curling into Josh even tighter.

"Drake, that's mom, your mom." Josh tried to get Drake to recognize her, in a way he knew Drake knew who she was, but that at the moment he didn't care, all he wanted was to keep the pain away, and that she could create that for him, that's why he didn't want her near him.

Drake looked up at the larger boy holding him, his eyes still filled with tears even after all that had fallen and an uncertain trust for the boy. He broke the eye contact, looking down and leaning his head against Josh's puffy chest.

In a low whisper that only Josh could hear the broken boy spoke, "I don't want her to see me…she'll hate me."

Josh almost wanted to yell at the boy for how wrong he was, but that would be the worst thing he could do. "No, no you're wrong; she'll always love you, no matter what."

Drake shook his head, "No, don't, want to stay here, with you; don't let her have me, want you." He slipped over his words in desperation to keep the larger boy right here with him.

"I won't, I promise I wont." Josh went back to rubbing the boys back, looking at his parents with an "I'm sorry" written on his face. He didn't want to hurt Drake anymore than he already was, even if that meant breaking his parent's hearts.

How they had managed to get Drake to the hospital not a one of them understood, and even more unfathomable was that currently Drake was in the E.R and Josh was not with him, managing that they all remembered. How the boy screamed and sobbed freely, clawing at anything that tried to touch except Josh, scratching every doctor that tried to help him. After a bit he even attacked Josh in a panic to get away from the hands, they had to sedate him to get him to go quietly, and then had to reassure the parents that he would be fine before that could give the boy a check up. That had been two hours ago, a very long twenty hours feeling two hours.

The three nearly mauled the recognizable doctor when he returned. He put a hand up to silence them. "Please, take a seat." He said. They did.

With a deep breath he spoke. "He was raped"

Audry put her hands over her mouth while Walter put a hand over her shoulder, it was true, there boy, there boy had been….raped. Josh looked at the ground. _'Now what, whatamIsuppose to do now?'_

The doctor continued, "By what we can gather from the seamen samples, by five men." His statement was meet with three shocked faces. "He has no broken bones, but severe bruising in multiple places and a sprained wrist. But that's all physical, we tried questioning him about his attackers but he refuses to say anything, this is, sadly enough, common of rape victims, and while I would like to get these men's profiles before he leaves the hospital it seems doubtful, so I ask you, when he's ready please question him, because until we get a profile these men are out there possible doing this to more people, and I am so sorry for your son, you may see him now, he's drugs, son don't expect much." With that he up and left.

They sat there for a bit, digesting, if you will, the information they had just heard. It was Josh who stood first, _'Drake must be so scared, I need to see him.'_

His parents looked at him, they couldn't yet, they couldn't see him, their son, the just couldn't.

Josh opened the door slowly, peering inside, and lying there was Drake, with tubes of god knows what pumping into him. He looked…empty lying there. He hadn't even looked up when the door had opened; he was looking up at nothing, his whole face devoid of all emotion.

"Drake?" Josh took a step closer to the prone boy.

Drake's eyes turned and meet his and with a child like action he reached out his hand for Josh to take, the larger boy didn't even think twice before taking it. It was cold and clammy, still shaking; it seemed the brown eyed boy hadn't stopped doing that at all.

Josh,for what felt like the first time really, really looked at the boy lying in the hospital bed. He had bandages one his hands, around his throat, over his left eyebrow, on his lip, and most likely other places he couldn't see.

But that wasn't what hurt Drake the most, it didn't matter that they had cleaned him up, washed the blood and dirt off his flesh because it was still there. But this, this was the blood and dirt you could never wash, no matter how hard you scrubbed. It didn't matter how may showers Drake took he could never get their hands off, it didn't matter how many times he brushed his teeth he could never get their taste out, it wouldn't matter how many times he washed his hands he would never be able to get the brick wall out from under his fingers.

He would never be clean again, he was tainted, he was…wrong now. No one would ever love him, if they ever knew they would sneer at him in disgust and push him away. All his kisses and hugs from here on out would be deformed coming from him, he want even sure if he could be Drake anymore._ 'No, no Drake is dead, no more Drake, he's dead, he's still in the ally crying and screaming and begging, he's playing his guitar and flirting with girls, no, definitely not Drake…I don't know who I am now'_

Drake turned to Josh, who had sat there quietly the whole time, griping his hand as tight as he could muster he whispered, "Can we go home now?"

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Xcries onto the key bourdX This...is...so...sad. There has to be something emotionlly wrong with me to write something this depressing...please review for me...XsniffleX


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Hello again. Apparently my Drake is all OOC, so I'm gonna try and get back in character, so from now on Drake is gonna be acting a little, if not a lot different…a little later on though, I had already typed a lot of this before the review. . . This chaper is really short...sorry. This story is all updated as well, I'm on a role. Please Review. Um...if you see the name 'Sam' its Walters name...

And thanks to all those who reviewed, the twisted one loves you, and she will send you a fruit basket.

Enjoy the story.

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Shake

(Shake the mans hand boy

Shake your fathers' dick boy

Shake the feeling

Shake the pain

Dude, relax

You're shaking)

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The car was silent as they drove home, no one spoke, no on knew what to say. They had let Drake leave but a mere four hours after arriving, the boy had no serious injuries that needed tending too. The boy was still dressed in a hospital gown, the hospital said they needed them, for evidence, or something, no one really listened, all they wanted was to take Drake home.

Every, what seemed like ten seconds, either there mother or father would look back at the two boys in the back seat.

Drake was leaning up against Josh, his head resting on his shoulder, his eyes still open and alert, he had refused to close them even after Josh assured him that he would be fine, he had shaken his head in refusal. He hadn't talked, only a few words, and only when he had to.

Not a one of them knew what to do, everything before this, they knew what to do, not really knew, there's no way to really know how to act, but up until this point it had all been almost obvious, if you will. Take him to the nurse, wait for the parents to come, take him to the hospital, and then take him home, and then what? What were they suppose to do now, what do they say to him now?

What happens when Megan asks what's wrong with Drake? How long until he speaks to them again? What if he refuses to eat? What happens if the men come back for him? None of them knew what would happen, and as they parked in the driveway of their home what would happen next, they didn't know.

Walter opened the door, and cringed when he saw Megan sitting on the couch watching TV, they didn't want to tell her what happened to Drake yet, they weren't even ready to except it.

Drake was behind if not connected to Josh; he clung to the boys arm as they walked into the door after their mother, who too had seen Megan's curios eyes as she spotted Drake.

"What's wrong with the boob?" She, however, wasn't prepared for Drake to take a step back, away from her in what had to be fear; she didn't have a chance to ask him what his problem was as her mother spoke.

"Josh, why don't you take Drake up to your room?" Josh nodded, looking down at the once again fearful boy leading them to their room.

Megan turned to her parents, "what's wrong with Drake?"

Her parents sat her down, trying with all their might to soften the information, but there was no way to cover "your brother was raped" into something less traumatizing. Megan's eyes widened as she took in the story, and she cried into her mothers' chest, all three of them cried, cried for their son, cried for his pain, and cried for themselves.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Up stairs in the room Drake and Josh shared, Drake sat on his bed, alone, he had let open of Josh freely for the first time that day.

Drake sat there staring at his shaking hands with loathing. _Stop shaking __damnit__! Fucking stop shaking! _But no matter how loud he yelled at them in his head they wouldn't stop, the thin boy had never felt so small and weak in his entire life.

"Drake…"Josh had been watching Drake stare at his hands for the last hour, he had been surprised and a little scared when Drake had detached him to sit alone, it had seemed that Drake had finally gotten over the shock of the…the…Josh still couldn't say it, even in his head.

This was all Drake had thought of, the whole time, in all the pain '_Josh help me! Get them off! Please let me go, I want to go home!'_ and now, he was home, and the hands were off, but he still didn't feel safe, it still hurt, but it shouldn't, it wasn't suppose to, he was suppose to be safe now! The distressed boy put his head in his bandaged hands. _I am so fucking sick of crying and shaking and being scared, why can't it just all stop?_

Drake wanted to scream at the world, be furious with it, he wanted to make it hurt like it had hurt him. He wanted to stand on the roof and scream to the Gods until his throat bled. He wanted to scream 'WHY! What did I ever do to deserve…this? It hurts so much it makes me want to die…Why do I hurt like this! TELL ME! Tell me you fucking sorry excuse for a god! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! God it hurts so much…make it stop…it hurts…please"

Drake wanted to kick out his legs and punch at the wall. He wanted something, anything to hurt like he hurt, it wasn't fair that he should hurt…not fair.

Drake felt his eyes getting heavy, try as he might he couldn't keep them open, he had been awake for what felt like forever, shaking and crying and now…all he wanted to do was just…shut off. Even with the fear of the attack hovering in his mind, he just couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. Drake slid deep into his bed, still clad in hospital cloths, Josh shut his mouth at once as he saw his brother fall into a deep sleep, leaving the room in fear of waking up the boy, leaving the boy all alone.

Unfortunately, that was all Drake was going to want as he slept, was for someone to wake him up, to lift him from the horrid nightmares he was bound to have.

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Have you ever questioned the world?

(There's no need to ask)

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Xthrows away 3rd tissue boxX...I'm so mean...

Shake, by Henry Rollins.

REVIEW! Come on its not that hard, just click review and write "good". Come on good drake and josh fics are hard to find, and its not like Harry Potter where the good ones keep coming, good rape Drake fics are very rare, and as far as I know I'm the only one who's made one, I have noticed some popping up though, but mine is better. So PLEASE REVIEW!


	4. Chapter 4

Dream Sequence

Ok, this chapter kind of sucks, because the whole thing is written in past tense, because it's more of a flash back than a nightmare, to in a way to explain Drakes actions as of so far. But I do admit, I kind of kill this chapter, I really really do…sorry. And, it's not half as graphic as I wanted it to be, cause I don't want to get in trouble…so you're going to have to humor me for that to. This one is really short too…(hates this chapter so…) This is also now a song fic.

Try and enjoy.

" " What is said

' ' What drake think

_O_

_WARNING!_ I rape Drake. Graphic, for real this time, if you're not cool with it, then don't read it, and for that matter, if you didn't, why are you still here?

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(Hush little baby, don't say a word,  
Papa's going to buy you a mockingbird.)

_Drake screamed even louder as he felt one of their hands make it's way to the buttons of his jeans._

"_STOP IT! LET ME GO!" Drake __screamed,__ thrashing and clawing out at anything he could come in contact with._

"_Ohhh__, a feisty one, and a screamer," one of the nameless faces declared as he pulled the shirt off of Drake._

"_He's so pretty," Drake curled his legs up as he felt his pants being pulled down. "I'm getting hard just looking at him."_

'_There __gonna__ rape me…there __gonna__ rape me! No. NO! Help me. HELP ME SOMEONE!'_

"_HELP ME!" Drake screamed at the top of his lungs._

(If that mockingbird won't sing,  
Papa's going to buy you a diamond ring.)

_The band of men chuckled, twisted smirks played on their faces._

"_No ones __gonna__ help you cutie, no one can hear you." He turned the Drake over._

_Drake kicked out his naked legs; he could feel his body being lifted onto a position he knew would cause him a great amount of pain._

"_NO!" The screams didn't matter; it made no difference how much he screamed._

_Then he felt a violent thrust rip into his body. He could feel his entire world shatter around him in this one moment in time he could feel himself shattering._

(If that diamond ring turns brass,  
Papa's going to buy you a looking glass.)

_Drake went blank for a moment. He choked in the scream in his throat; the tears in his eyes seemed to freeze over. The taste of bile rushed into his mouth as a seething white hot pain rushed up his spine and all over his body. His throat closed up and he couldn't breathe, he wasn't sure if he would have even remembered how too._

_Drake could feel his body being ripped in half from the inside. It hurt. It hurt so fucking bad, Drake didn't even have time to scream as a flesh cover attacker invaded his mouth, but god how he wanted to scream._

'_It hurts, it hurts, __it__ hurts. Please, please god someone help me, someone find me, please help me. Josh, please find me, please it hurts I need you, I need you to save me, it hurts! Make it stop, Josh make it stop, the pain, make it stop.'_

(If that looking glass gets broke,  
Papa's going to buy you a Billy goat.)

"_Hey, it's my turn next!"_

'_JOSH! Save me please, make it stop! Josh, oh god it hurts, it hurts, please god kill me it hurts, make it stop, Josh…'_

"_Ugh, shit, so good"_

'_JOSH'_

_Drakes' body jerked and twisted against the hands on him. Screams turned to gags turned to sobs. He could feel nails ripping at his back, he wanted to twist into the scratching, that pain he could take, that pain he could heal from._

(If that Billy goat won't pull,  
Papa's going to buy you a cart and bull.)

"_He's so tight"_

'_HELP ME'_

"_Ahhh__, coming"_

'_GET THEM OFF'_

_Drake screamed louder as he felt his wrist twist even, shooting even more pain through his body. Drake jerked against the rhythm of the man inside him. He could taste blood in his mouth, he couldn't tell if it was his or not. _

"_Oh god, yes"_

'_MAKE IT STOP'_

"_Just a little, __ahhah__"_

'_Please Josh…make it stop'_

_Drake cried and cried, and at every opportunity screamed out __Joshs__' name to save him. Most people would have stopped screaming by now, but Drake never stopped screaming and clawing and fighting, he didn't allow his body to just go numb, he scraped his fingers against the wall, ripping at the skin, he twisted his wrists hard enough to brake them but, he never got away._

Shatter

That would be the sound, if this feeling of pain and anguish, but it has no real sound and no real word for it, it is just…. this.

This.

(If that cart and bull fall down,  
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town)

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Hisses Man I hate this chapter so much, I'm thinking about posting on AdultFanfiction and putting the full graphic version on it, depends if people want it, do you? I'm hoping this wasn't too hard to understand, and I'm sorry it was so short, like I said; I had to color it up all pretty. I feel a little dirty…

Question: should I have like flash backs of sorts, like…

Josh put has hand on Drakes shoulder; Drakes eyes dilated '_hold still you little fucker, ugh.'_ He pulled away from Josh, screaming

"LET ME GO!"

You like? I'm not sure if I should…so let me know.

REWIEWS FOR THE TWISTED ONE PLEASE!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Hey, you're still here, surprise surprise. Anyway, I'm way glad that chapter is out of the way, I'm kind of in a state of writers block, sorry. I need ideas; all I really wanted to do was rape him, now I have no idea what to write about anymore…I think that like Josh's girlfriend should find out, but I'm not sure…

And now WARNING! Character masturbation!This chapter is REALLY twisted and I mean REALLY. I'm kinda worried about myself now after writing this kind of chapter, twisted. It's got drake masturbating in a really perverted fashion. And it's basically wrong, really really wrong. But holy shit is it good.

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They say dead men tell no tales. I, for one, can tell you that isn't quite so. They can, if they want to, or if you make them. It would be truer to say dead men know the best tales, the ones that you only hear when you least want to hear them, after the sun has gone down. I know stories, if I wanted to tell them. I could tell you a story, one that no one has ever heard or knows about. The once your when you least want to hear them, in the dead of the night.  
Auther unknown.

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Drake screamed and screamed, caught in the grips of a nightmare.

"LET ME GO!" Drake screamed _Get him off, gotta get him off._ "LET GO OF ME!"

"Drake, no look at me! Please!"

_He wont let me go, I can't get him off, please god no not again._

"P…Please d…don't it hurts" _not again, please god not again. _"Please stop…please no please no."

"I would never hurt you Drake." Josh shook harder Drake, still gripped in his nightmare.

_Josh? Is that you? Help me, HELP ME!_

"GET OFF, DON'T TOUCH ME."_ Josh help me, save me._

"DRAKE!" Josh shook Drake hard one more time, this time Drakes eyes opened wide.

"J-josh..." _Josh, Josh, Josh…._

"It's ok, you're safe. I've got you." Josh cooed as soothingly as he could, trying to mask the tremor of fear in his voice. The way the boy had screamed, thrashing around on his bed had scared forty years off Joshs' life.

_He's worm _Drake though_. The pain is going away. No, no it's not going away, it's just going numb, because it's never going to go away. _

"I won't let anything hurt you." _You can't stop it, so don't pretend you can._

Drake looks down. He couldn't stand that Josh knew what had happened to him, that anyone knew, no one was supposed to know.

Drake could feel tears running down my face, he couldn't get their hands off him, they wouldn't stop touching him, feeling him, hurting him, ripping him open.

"I've got you." Josh pulled the other boy to his chest. It almost felt normal now, to have Drake in his arms.

_He's still holing me. How? How can he touch something as sick and disgusting as me, I am tainted and all twisted up inside_.

"Let me go." Drake hisses, pulling his body out of Josh's grip. "Don't ever touch me again!"

Drake ripped himself from Josh's hug. Tossing himself off the bed Drake ran into the bathroom, the door slamming behind him.

"Drake!" Josh beat on the door with his fists, for what seemed like the twentieth time today, had managed to scare Drake.

"Leave me alone!" _Stop lying to me! _Drake pulled himself onto counter top of the bathroom sink seating himself on the edge of it. "Just leave me alone."

Josh sighed in frustration, he knew, he really really knew that he had no right to get mad at Drake, none at all, that only made the guilt at the feeling of anger directed towards his brother even worse. He wasn't really mad at Drake, just…frustrated. He didn't know what to do most of the time and in the end he usually just ended up making the other boy cry. So for the first time Josh decided that for once, Drake knew what was best for Drake.

"Ok Drake, but I'll be right down stairs if you need me." With that Josh walked out of the room, sparing one last glace at the closed bathroom door.

Inside the bathroom, atop the porcelain sink a fragile heartbeat froze. _He…he left me alone…he left me alone…I'm all alone…no, no, No._

The panic raised in the boy as the silence of the room engulfed him, ate him up, ate everything inside of him except the horrible memories that haunted him, that the silence left for him to suffer with.

_Josh left me alone…he left me…alone…_

A bitter laugh broke out of Drakes mouth. He pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face into them, but he couldn't stifle the sound. _Of course Josh left me, of course, he was only pretending to care about me, pretending to love me, no one can love me ever again. _

The bitter laughter soon turned into a new stream of broken sobs and curses.

"Stop crying damnit! Stop fucking crying! Stop being such a goddamn coward and get the fuck over it! What they did to you is over!…what they did…" Drake felt himself trailed off.

What they did, they did this to me, and it's their fault. What they did, no one can ever understand it, no one in the world. They had no right to hurt me, those things…it was all them!

Drake wrapped his hands around his stomach, it still hurt.

That was when his eyes caught sight of his refection in the mirror. He was beautiful. Drake couldn't stop himself from running his fingers over his reflection; even all bruised and bandaged up he was still gorgeous. His piercing brown eyes peaked out through his long chestnut hair making him look vulnerable and helpless.

He was a broken beauty, a tainted dame. So perfect yet so wrong. And without a second thought he sent his fist into his refection, shattering his beauty, shattering his sin. If Drakes broken body could take a shape it would look just like the shattered mirror.

Drake wanted to scream, he did scream.

"I'm all torn up and ripped up and shattered and I fucking hate it! Nothing is all right and it never will be ever ever again! Nothing can make this better!" Drake screams at his reflection. He was covered in bruises and bandages; he looked like a broken toy puppet all wrapped up in tape like this.

Drake knows he should go back out there and sit with Josh, he wasn't ready to be alone just yet, every time he was alone, the memories came back, but he couldn't stop looking at himself, at his distorted reflection in the shattered mirror. It was as if this was a different person, a not Drake person, it was as if this twisted refection was the real Drake, the Drake who got raped and lost clumps of skin to a brick wall, this was the real Drake.

He places his hands on the mirror, looking deeply into his own crooked eyes. _It was you who went through all that pain. No one else can ever understand you and what you went through and the scars you bare, it was you…_

You screamed and thrashed and twisted and cried but you never got away. You chocked and gasped for air that you just couldn't get into your lungs. You felt your neck lock in place, looking up at the sky, as if God himself wanted to see your face as the first one shoved his cock into you. As of God was sitting there watching your face turn white and your eyes dilate. As if he was just waiting, waiting for you to cry, to howl blood-curdling throat ripping cries from deep in your throat, form deep in your soul.

_He wanted to watch you get thrown against a wall, back scrapping and shredding at the brick, bleeding. Your mouth stuck open, gagging but nothing came out._

Drake ran his fingers over the cracks, cutting them up and making little finger sizes strips on the mirror of his own blood. And with his other hand he violently shoved it down his pants.

_You wondered if God's shoving his hand into his pants at the sight of you. You cringed as you felt one of their hands on your cock, rubbing it. You wanted to whimper as you felt yourself getting hard and you wonder, is God hard? Is this what God wants? _

Drake jerked himself sadistically, far to fast and far too aggressive to in any way be pleasurable. Which basically was the point, no pleasure, all pain.

_You wondered if God was jerking himself off, if he had two fingers shoved up his ass as he pumped himself violently. If God was up there in heaven moaning, "yeah, give it to him, give it to him good, yeah….ohhh,"? _

Drake leaned closer into the mirror, the memories of the night swelling around him in a haze. He pushes his body up as high as he can on the sink, trying to see as much of his violated body as possible, wanting to see what God wanted to see.

_You felt a sick pleasure building in you. You're going to cum, there was no way around it, because that's what God wanted. It doesn't matter that this hurt more than anything you had ever felt, it doesn't matter that you wished you were dead, it doesn't matter that you were sobbing and begging for them to stop, because God wanted you to cum. God wanted you to cum with him, he wanted to scream with you. _

Drake could feel himself cumming with God.

_Then you do, it kills you inside. Then God, you wondered, did he cum with you like he wanted? Is he cleaning himself off with a Kleenex right now, or is it so good that he had to lie on his bed in a daze for a few minutes? Or did God fall asleep and never woke back up, ever._

Drake came.

With blood on his fingers, pain in his back, tears falling down his face, broken and bandaged Drake came with God.

Then all started to go black and the last thing Drake remembers is the bathroom floor hurtling towards him.

O

O

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I'm going to get in trouble for this aren't I? Xfeels scaredX

Anyways, this chapter is really bad, I know, and I'm sorry.

Review for me please...i think I may be loosing my mind.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N I fell this story needs to lighten up a bit, sorry for those who just love this morbid/twisted stuff cause it has to be leveled down. And for those of you who the curiosity is killing, I really don't know if this is going to be an incest fic, I don't really think it is because I want Drake to start have sex with random men to feel whole again, so there will be slash, don't worry.

LOVE TO: IceRose01, I didn't get your e-mail but I love you XhugsX. cookie dough, thanks for all the suggestions for my story, not sure what I'm gonna use. And love to everyone else who reviewed for me.

There is little to no dialoged in this, and could be considered a K+ fic. I had a glass of normal before I wrote this

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It wasn't the fall that broke it

It wasn't the boy that broke it

It was always broken

And he reached deep into the broken glass cup

And with trembling fingers

Pulled out some pieces

Half glass

Half himself

Like the way he was born

With two hands

One holding a dream

And the other empty

Clenched into a fist made to fight

The edges were slippery and cold

Like chunks of ice

But there was no way to tell what was colder

The ice

Or the blood

The shards made a million reflections of him

An ear, a shoe, a pocket

A tear, a sob

It made the floor a sea

And he was drowning

The sink asked the cabinet

Who asked the oven who asked the toaster

Who asked the table who asked the blender

"Why does he shake like that?"

The glass was a glass

The boy was a boy

The boy was the glass

The glass was the boy

And they were always broken

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Drake had an odd favorite place, it wasn't under his bed, or in the bathroom, or anything like that, it was in the corner of the concession stand at the movies. It was an odd place, but Drake loved it there, in that little circle with Josh moving from corner to corner helping customers. Drake loved the circle, Josh never got to far away and Drake could always see him no matter what.

Drake would sit in the corner on the floor curled up in to a small ball where no one could see him unless they chose to lean so much over the stand that they were balancing on their chests, then might they catch a glimpse of Drakes brown hair, but that was rare and had yet to happen.

It had been a week since the "when he was…" (That's what they all called it) and Josh could no longer shirk off on his responsibilities, Drake could take being alone while he was at school, but after that when Josh came home to change Drake refused to let the boy out of his sight. No one thought it was a good idea for Drake to go to work with Josh but there was no way they could say no, they only had one rule, that Josh never let Drake out of his sight, and for the past three days Josh had.

Drake would sit, quite as the air, in that corner for hours on end chewing lightly on whatever candy he had in his hands. The silence around Drake would make Joshs stomach turn. Josh couldn't stand how quiet Drake suddenly was, there had been a time when getting the boy to be quiet sometimes needed the assistance of duck tape, now, however, it seemed that no amount of anything could get the boy to speak more than a few words at a time.

While Josh hated the silence, it was better than the chants. Drake had, at some point or another, begun singing this horrifying song. Whenever Drake was alone, or though he was alone this little whisper would emit from him, he would sing this broken little tune, late at night, in the dark.

Hush little child

Pretty little manikin

All wrapped up in twine

Understand it? Dirty fingers

make it down my spine

Such a shame, mommy forgot your name

The first time Josh heard Drake singing this song he wanted to rush in and take the boy in his arms, make promise of better tomorrows and what not. He wanted to hold him and scream 'How! How can I help you? How can I make this all go away! Please, for the love of god please tell me!'

Drakes voice would carry in the wind and stop at a whispers distance, but somehow Josh could hear him from the other side of the room. Drake was lost, Josh knew it, their parents knew it, the dust on the window seal knew it. It was as though Drake was barley holding on to holding on. It had been a week since the 'incident' and things had yet to take that 'positive turn'. They had gone to the police two days ago so Drake could describe the assailants, it was the second most horrifying thing the family had ever seen. He had done nothing, he had not cried, he had not screamed, he described the men in a monotone voice every detail of the horrible event that had befallen him, without so much as a blink.

At times his hands would turn around themselves in his lap, but besides that nothing. Worried looks were shared throughout all the people in the room over the boy as he explained the sound of their voices; the hollow voice of Drake was screaming it. 'I am empty!' The boy had been swallowed whole that night with no drop left to sustain him. He had been consumed, and the boy at the other end of the two-way glass was nothing but a shell.

Drake had ceased wearing longed sleeved shirts to cover his bandages and bruises, now letting them flow at his sides like flags, wearing them as though marks of a forgotten prideful act. At times Drake would catch himself admiring them, staring longest at the ones that still held the vague shape of fingers, and Josh would catch him staring.

Drake had also taken to smiling at completely inappropriate times: he would see a person fall, smile. A person would die on TV, smile. Someone would burn his or her hand in the kitchen and scream, smile. It was the nasty perverse little smile, like the ones that get painted onto glass dolls who's heads are always crooked, all glossy and gleaming. But there was nothing that could be done, what were they supposed to do? No one knew…

Drake was not Drake, he was this glass doll that walked the house in a haze, whose eyes blinked every ten seconds. The boy had proposed a toast to his humanity, and had waved it off as it crawled across the floor, with that smile that consumed his face, constantly playing this church tune that even the rocks forget.

And a question crawled from the whisper of Drakes twisted chant.

"Are you happy?"

"I am home…"

"Yes, but are you happy?"

"…"

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Thanks to all those who reviewed me. As you can see I am kind of stuck at the moment. And I am also sorry for those who did not at all enjoy my poetic writing, I was in that mood at the time. I am or may not be updating, it all depends. ANd i am also sorry that its kind of short, as I said, I am stuck.

The poem was mine, I wrote it.

REVIEWS!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hello all. I want to thank everyone that reviewed me, cruel or otherwise. I'm amazed that I'm still writing this story, I just got this burst of inspiration. And DreadtheCrimson I appreciated your review very much, mostly because I have no idea what a 'sublet metaphor' is and it makes me feel smart.

Clarify: Drake is kind of crazy in this chapter, it's very hard to follow his thought process but do your best, I clarified as best I could

_Drakes thoughts_

The night angle lifts her gown and revels her lies to me.

Fingers bandaged.

Oh, wondergirl, what did you do?

Did you chew it off with all your teeth?

So no one could ever see?

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"Drake?"

Drakes body convulsed in shock on the bed, he turned his eyes to the door of the room and let them sit on Josh, who was standing impatiently in the door way.

_Drake? I am Drake._ "Yes?" Drake moved the guitar that had yet to be played in his lap, his fingers running over the thickest string.

Josh sighed, "I'm going to work in ten minutes, are you coming or not?"

_To work? To go to with Josh…Why? To not be left alone. No, word order, I do not want to be left alone._

Drake nodded his head vigorously, pushing his guitar all the way off his lap, sliding off the bed. "Let me get my shoes."

Josh leaned on the door way. Drake's response to Joshes question was odd for two reasons, one: it took him nearly a minute to answer, and second: the boy was only clad in checkered boxers and yet the first thing he thought to put on was his shoes, not pants, not even a shirt, but shoes.

Drake had started doing this a while ago, half the time no one knew what the hell the boy was talking about. Drakes brain would make leaps and jumps from one side to another, answers to the all the questions asked from him seemed to be but a jumble of random inconsequential words. The doctors had clamed this to be a sort of post traumatic stress disorder. The reason Drakes mind would jump around so much was that the boy was doing his best not to remember, Drake was doing the most his mental mind could to not for a second get tangled into that horrid moment that marred his past.

Drake crawled on the floor looking for a shirt. _Shirt, to cover the back. _An odd strangled sound of glee was made by Drake as he lifted what Josh assumed to be a shirt.

_Pants, to cover the knees, because I fall down to much…_Drake pick up a pair of dirty pants and pulled them on. _Dirty cloths for a dirty boy. _

Drake pulled a pair of untied shoes on, then suddenly, stopped.

"Drake?" Josh took a few steps closer to his brother. "Drake?" He asked again.

Drake just continued to sit there, staring at his untied shoes. _They are wrong…they need the bows, bunny ears. Bunnies, I have none, no Peter cotton tail, no cotton, why? I forget the cotton, I forget._

Drake, still not looking up whispered, "I forget the cotton…"

"You forgot the what?" Josh had not idea what Drake was talking about…What cotton?

Drake looked up; eyes filled with frustrated tears, he pointed violently to his untied shoes and shouted, "I forget the cotton!" _The bunnies are dead!_

Josh gave up trying to understand what the hell Drake was talking about, luckily taking the hint and grabbing at Drakes feet to tie his shoes. He grabbed Drakes feet a little more violently then he had intended to, winning him a frightening wimpier from Drake, but Josh chose to ignore it. It had been a week and a half and Josh was starting to lose his patients with the smaller boy.

_My bunnies…_Drake pulled his tied shoes back to himself, smiling. _My cotton, it is back._

"Come on Drake, get in the car." Josh tried not to raise his voice, but it did, not in volume, but in falsetto.

_Car? Moves fast, fingers out the window in the wind like butter. The world is toast to spread the butter. _

"I get to spread the world?" Drake asked, his voice and eyes eager looking and existed.

Once again, Josh had no idea what Drake was talking about, but decided to just agree with Drake. That's basically what the family did, they would just agree with him and hope that the barren glass smile would fall onto his face, because if he didn't smile like that, he would scream.

Luckily, Drake chose to smile at Josh's response to his question. Getting up off the floor with a lucid grace he slithered over to the door and out, not once looking back at Josh. As Josh followed his brother to the car he thought howat least he should be grateful that Drake was getting a little better.

It has been a week and a half and while Drake was far from back to normal, he wasn't as bad. He allowed you to touch him now, but you had no idea what was going on in his head. He no longer had night terrors, but then again, he didn't sleep much. The boy had stopped sobbing and shaking, but he would have temper tantrums like a child would.

Josh took his seat in the drivers side of the car, before starting the car he looks over at Drake.

"Drake put your seatbelt on." He commended as he put the keys in the ignition.

Drake looked down at his shoes. _I am already tied up by the cotton. _He turned to Josh, "I can't anymore, I'll suffocate." He wrapped his hands around his throat as though to represent what would happen if he did in fact buckle his seat belt.

"Drake just put it on, okay?" Josh yelled a little as he pulled out of the driveway, already ten minutes late as it was.

Drake, out of pure surprise and fear at Josh's outcry put the seat belt on. _Okay? Not okay. Word order, I am not okay Too much, I am suffocating.. I want to throw up, there is too much in me, around me,I'm suffocating._

"I'm not okay." Drake declared, pulling at the part of the seatbelt that rubbed his neck, it felt like a snake was trying to eat him.

Josh was cut off by a black Lexis and got stuck behind his second red light. He was mad.

Josh turned to Drake, eyes on fire. "Well I'm sorry!" he yelled, causing Drake to stop pulling on his seat belt. "I'm sorry you're not okay, and I'm sorry I don't know what the hell you're ever talking about but-"

"I lost it, okay?" Drake screamed at the top of his lungs nearly causing Josh to swerve off the road.

"Drake what-"

"Everything, everything, everything has its place on the shelf!" He flew his arms about wildly in front of him. "I don't! Why? Because I fell down and no kings came to help me and now I'm in all these pieces and I can't find them!"

Drake was furious, while Drake had been a great deal of emotions in this week and a half time, mind numbing fury had yet to make the list. Josh suddenly regretted his words, regretted that he yelled at the boy, it wasn't his fault he was the way he was.

Josh stopped at another stop light, "Drake I-"

"That's not my name! Don't call me that!" Drake punched at the dash board. "The forks got next to the spoons and there's no room in the middle for him anymore!" Drakes knuckles were starting to bleed.

"Drake stop!" Josh was trying as best he could to pull over as fast as he could without getting them both killed.

"It's the salt; I can't get it out…" The fury seemed to slowly drain out of him as he leaned against the window panting, eyes glazed over, staring at the unmoving world.

Josh had no idea what to do, usually he had some sort of plan and would decide which one would work best, but here, now, he had no idea what to do.

"Who are you?" Drake whispered.

Josh was about to ask what Drake was talking about when he realized himself, Drake was talking to himself in the reflection in the rearview mirror.

"I don't know you, do I? People say I do, but I don't." he shook his head from side to side against the glass.

"Drake," Josh said as softly as possible. "You're Drake."

"Liar…"

Am I empty?

Is there nothing inside of me?

Do I understand?

Does anyone?

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Twist ending, or an abrupt stop, I haven't decided yet. We'll see. If I stole anything from any other others please let me know, because I feel like I may have a little bit. This story is very apt to change right now; I'm just not sure what. And I am sorry, I'm not all that good at insane Drake, broken Drake I'm a god, but crazy has it's limits because I have to convey every thought to you or else you wont understand, ex: cotton. Both poems are mine.

Anyways, please review me, it's what keeps me going, and if anyone has any idea of how this should end, let me know.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Holly Hell I did it! I finished a story! Haza! Sorry for all of you who were waiting and are now looking at my story on your alerts going 'what the hell was that again?'

But here it is! It's done! Thanks to all of you for reading!! I know, short, sorry, I did my best.

* * *

A year had passed, a long suffering year of quiet sobs and forgotten events. And as Drake and Josh walked down the halls of their new college campus the world could not help but stand amazed at the change.

Drake walked with confidence, no longer were his arms covered in wretched bruises, and the scares had all but disappeared. His hair was cut short, his eyes always on display, and what surprised the world the most, was the beautiful beaming smile on Drakes face.

"Man, this place is awesome!" Josh mused, spinning around in circles.

Drake chuckled a bit as he watched his brother's fascination. In these long new halls of the dorm Drake couldn't help but breath, deep and long. This air, this new air, it was the smell of a new beginning.

The entire plane ride there the air just seemed to get lighter and lighter as his old life was left like dust in the clouds, unable to keep up. Drake looked out the window the whole way there, his hand firmly threaded between Josh's.

Drake wasn't sure if the rest of the family remembered what anniversary it was, but he did. One year ago today he had been picked up from the street on his way home and dragged in to an ally, a year ago he was crazy, a year ago he had lost most of his soul. And there was no one more fascinated then Drake himself to see how his soul had healed over the year.

His soul, utterly tortured and utterly torn had plagued him for months before it started to build itself back up. It had forced Drake to suffer insomnia, panic attacks, insanity, anorexia, bulimia, and a bout of schizophrenia.

In the end, it was all Josh. If it hadn't been for Josh, Drake would have spiraled into nothingness. It was Josh who refused to let Drake fall, it was Josh who was always hanging onto him, pulling him back up from the darkness.

The only thing that still seemed to be affecting him was his terrible jumpiness. Any abrupt noise or fast movement still easily startled Drake, but besides that, no one would ever guess what horrors streak his past.

The dorm that he would be sharing with his brother was small, but to him, it looked ten stories high. To him, this place couldn't get any more perfect.

Going back to school had been hard for him. Two months is a long time in high school, and it gives people a lot of time to come up with even more vicious rumors then they normally would. Drake had to walk down the halls covered in whispers.

One was that he had been discovered and moved to Hollywood to be star. One was that his father had come back and kidnapped him.

The worst one going around was that he had been raped, because it was the one that was true, the one that he had the hardest time denying. Drake almost didn't make it, if it hadn't been for Josh, who was by his side every second, he never would have. But in the end he got through it, he graduated high school and was off to college with Josh in New York City.

The fact that the men were never found still keept Drake awake some nights, but he knew that one day even that won't matter, because as long as Josh is by his side, he was safe.

"Drake!" Josh called from the other side of the room, "You have to come see this view!"

Placing his guitar down on his new bed Drake walked over to the window and looked out over the city with Josh.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Josh asked, placing an arm around his brother.

In the window Drake could see his reflection. He could see the content smile on his face, the light shimmer in his dark eyes; he could see all the things he thought he would never see again.

Leaning into Josh, Drake ran his fingers over the window. Over the people and cars, over the tall skyscrapers. Over the sun and moon and stars themselves.

"Yeah, beautiful."

**My path **

I can't seem to stop falling

And stumbling

And tripping

I can't seem to keep my balance

I wander off the beaten path

And I lose my footing

So I start to crawl

Pieces of myself left on the dirt

Knuckles raw

Knees scabbed

Tears falling

Mouth dry

Body breaking

Mind raping

Soul taking

But still breathing

Still living

Still crawling

I will prevail

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Finished!!! Review please 


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